Personal Book Selection

So, I finally read the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy and I must say that I really enjoyed it; so much so, that I read a few other BDSM (look it up) books.  The first thing I must say about these books is that they are not at all what I expected.  The books are truly love stories with a bit of sex in them (who wouldn't like that?). 

Seriously, when I heard women discuss these books, it was always as though it was something taboo or sinister about them.  I have listened to women talk about how they couldn't read those types of books because they were married or it was "ungodly", really?  This is what I will tell you:
If you are not comfortable in your own sexuality and desires, DON'T READ THESE BOOKS! 

These books are written to emphasize power and ultimate pleasure.  The funny thing is that most will assume that it is power and pleasure from the man's perspective and it isn't.  In these books, the men fully understand the woman's body and what excites her; the power comes from controlling that aspect.  The man's enjoyment comes from his mastery of her enjoyment.  Now, say what you want, but that is pretty awesome.  Being able to trust someone else in the most intimate way that wants nothing but your happiness is the ULTIMATE PLEASURE (physically, mentally, and emotionally)! Denying that is denying yourself of possibilities.

The point of this post is to say this:  What we read DOES NOT define who we are!  I have read a variety of books (from historical events to murder mysteries) and none of them reflect the person that I am.  There may be some that I identify with but none of them define me as a person.  What defines me is my ability to understand different stories, gain perspective, and continue to better myself based on these things. 

Read whatever it is you want, it can't hurt you!
 

Happiness versus Selfishness

I know it has been a very long time since I posted.  So, I thought I would write a quick note.  When I write, I am just sharing my own personal thoughts and perspective.  I am in no way trying to assert myself as the authority on any topic (outside of those posts about me - I do consider myself an authority there).

The things at the forefront of my mind these days has been happiness; mainly because of some very important people that have had a positive impact on my life.  Now, these people don't even know what their happiness means to me but I do keep them in my thoughts because I care and I want them to be happy regardless of where that leads.  For those people, I write this post.

Happiness is a state of mind that we have full control over.  It is on us to determine if we want to be happy or not.  Being happy involves being a little selfish; I am not talking about the selfishness that drive people to take advantage of those that are trying to help or love them terribly.  I am talking about a selfishness that requires you to decide what you want with no one else's involvement. 

These steps are based on my personal experience (and I have repeated them several times even as I type).

Steps to Happiness

- Know what you want big or small; identifying what brings you joy helps to keep you grounded and on your path

- Know that most people are selfish at some point or in some aspect of their lives.  The key is determining how that selfishness impacts you and your desires.

- Know what makes you tick; if there are things/actions that are unbearable to you, stop them at the door.  Letting them have a seat at your table only ruins the meal.  This will involve you taking a stance for yourself (everyone may not like it - BE PREPARED).

- Stop dwelling on those things that are inconsequential to you.  This one can be difficult be cause we make or take many things more personal than we should (I do it quite often).  This is where the list of your desires comes in handy.  If the situation does not support any of those things on your list, let it go.  It's not worth your time and energy.

- Know that what makes you happy in no way shape or form drives or aligns with what make others happy.  There will come a time when you have to make difficult decisions on the relationships in your life.  This step also involves selfishness and taking a stance for yourself.  (I would be lying if I told you this was simple. One hard thing about this step is realizing the misalignment of the relationship's worth (basically, you thought it meant more than it did)).  People can be ruthless, it's important to know how you fit in their lives so you can approach the relationship appropriately.

- Stop letting others define your happiness.  REMEMBER YOUR HAPPINESS IS ALL ABOUT YOU!!!