Sunday, January 25, 2015

Seek understanding first...


For those of you that don’t know, some of my posts here are specifically requested by someone else.  That being said, this post and the next were to have specific topics.  However, I have to deviate for a moment to talk about helping others. 

Side Note for my brother-in-law - This post may be lengthy but let me have just a few more minutes of your time and read it anyway. J

Now back to the post…

In a couple of my earlier posts, I provided insight into who I am and my thoughts on my life.  For this post, I would like to talk about why that is important to me.  Hopefully, I can wrap it back around to the title of this post. 

Regardless of our desire to “stay out of other people’s business”, we are in it every time we open ours mouths to discuss someone else.  In these conversations, I always try to be fair in my commentary and consider the person at hand (this piece requires me knowing that person).  I try to avoid negativity and provide a different perspective.  I do this because NO ONE and I mean NO ONE truly knows the next person’s situation.  The only thing we ever know is what we are told.  In many cases, what you are told is the version that people want to share.  Case in point, my post about myself, while intimate, didn’t provide you details around the negative things that took over my childhood.  In fact, I really started in high school.  Were any of the things I shared a lie?  No, I simply skipped over the part of my life that was hardest for me.

We often hear things like, “you don’t know me”, “you don’t know what I have been through” or “you don’t know that person’s situation”.  The reason we don’t know those things is not always that the person doesn’t want to share.  Sometimes, we aren’t listening or asking the right questions or even ready for the person’s truth.  In order to help anyone, you have to understand the issue.  Sometime, we have made assumptions about their situation without even talking to them.  That understanding can only come from the source; are you willing to go directly to the source? Are you ready to hear what someone else has to say?

If the ability to impact others positively exists, use it wisely and with the intent of improving the situation.  Influence is powerful.  Many people desire to have someone that understands their situation and cares enough to listen, be that person for someone.

*Note: This is a totally selfless act.  Your actions and intentions in this situation cannot be about YOU!*

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Today was tough because...

As you can see, I am not going to be able to post my updates to my journal everyday.  

1) You guys are going to get tired of me (because you just don't want to know me that well).  
2) I don't know that I will have meaningful posts everyday (and I don't know that I am ready to share that much at this point)

Nevertheless, today's question was this:  Today was tough because...  

Today was tough because I can't understand why some people seem to be incapable of giving others time and space to cope, deal, just to themselves to asses their situations.  

I know, I know, so let me explain.  My friend and co-worker lost her younger brother last night (totally unexpected).  She sent a note to us to let us know.  First thing this morning, people (really one person in particular) are standing in my office asking "Have you talked to her?", "Do you have the arrangements?", "Do you have her address?".  Then, the person runs off and tells everyone she can talk to then starts pinging me.  Really?  Do you think I spent hours talking to her last night or this morning?  She had to break the news to her parents, try to get answers from the coroner's office, and head down to Alabama.  Oh and her brother passed in Chicago by himself.  

It really frustrated me.  Don't get me wrong I am not trying to be mean or insensitive and I understand that people just want to show concern and support. My thoughts are this, before you take action, consider if the situation was yours, what would you prefer from others?  This consideration can help in almost every situation that you face involving others.

Friday, January 2, 2015

Can People Change?

January 2 Question: Can people change?

Considering that both Jamie and I have changed and that I spend 80% of my time at work developing people, my answer is yes, people can change.  I know that many people will not agree with my answer but oh well.  

Things to note about my answer in order for it to happen, people have to:

  • Believe change is needed
  • Want to change
  • Work at change
  • Accept setbacks
  • Understand feedback
Things that should be considered when thinking about change are that it will not happen overnight and support is required.  Those two things seem to be the hardest thing about change in general.

I am trying to make my posts a little shorter because I got feedback that some of them are too long.  I apologize in advance for the length but I wanted to share one of the poems that I wrote for Jamie a while ago.


He... is the pitter-patter of feet on my heart
... the laughter ringing in my ears
He is the joy glittering in my eyes

He... is the radiant sunlight stomping out my tears
... the stars gleaming throughout my moonlit skies
He is the soothing touch that healed my pain

He... is the sweet aroma drifiting in the midst of an orchard
... the thrilling sensation running down my spine
He is the tranquility engulfing my mind

HE IS THE QUINTESSENCE OF LIFE!!!
By Tamira L. Morris



Thursday, January 1, 2015

What is your mission?

I purchased a 5-year journal a long while ago for a young person in my life was never able to gift it.  Nevertheless, the journal is a "Q&A" journal that asks a different question every day.  I am hoping this works out well and will let you know how it is going as often as I can

First questions for the first day of the year:  What is your mission?

At first, I thought this was a very difficult question.  After thinking through all the things that I have dealt with in my life, I realized it wasn't as difficult to answer as I was making it.

My mission is simple.  My mission/ambition is to enjoy a fulfilled life with my husband (the strongest family I have).  So, there it is people, it seems easy enough, doesn't it?  Several situations/challenges come along with that ambition but having it at the forefront of my mind helps me to stay focused.  Diversions and missteps are not able to cause serious delays in my journey.

I am thinking that answering these questions daily will be good for me, but I haven't wholly decided that I am going to share my answers here each day.  Think about it, have you considered your mission?  Maybe we all should.



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