Time to Focus Up

I was going to write an awesome post about negativity and its impacts... but I had to change direction.  Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this one.

In earlier posts, I have mentioned one of the reasons that I write; to have an outlet.  Writing is my escape from everything around me.  It helps me to release, regroup and focus.  Release the things I unable to control or change; regroup (arrange thoughts in the correct order); focus (well, this one gets its own section - it's the main theme today).  

FOCUS
While writing helps me get things out constructively, it also serves as a way to hold myself accountable. What does that mean?  Putting your thoughts, irritations, fears, dreams in black and white for the world to see means putting myself out there to be judged/ridiculed whatever people want to do with the information.  I know I have only a few readers (but you are my world) and you have the right to draw from my writings whatever you choose.  But, for me, doing so makes me accountable to the things that I put in black and white; it helps me focus on the person that I am working hard to be every day.

There is always talk of helpings others, being a blessing in someone's life, impacting community, which are all great things that I support.  My belief, you have to do that for yourself before you can ever be that to anyone else.  Action requires desire, commitment, and determination.  So when I give you my truth, it is so I can be true.

Jamie and I have conversations quite often about lip service and he always says don't talk about it just do it.  He is right.  There are several things that I need to stop talking about and start doing.  The very first thing on my list... removing negative responses and/or actions.

Well, I guess we will talk a little about negativity anyway.  See, I don't think that it is possible to totally cease negative thoughts.  I think that is just human nature; there is always a chance that something or someone will not respond as you expected, disagree with a thought you had, or simply be rude.  There are tons of things that trigger non-positive thoughts in each of us.  What I can change is how I react/respond.  Choosing to be positive is an action; choosing to be a better me is an action.  Let's see what happens...

Big Family Small Family (Sisters or No Sisters)

I have been working on this post for some time now not because I didn't know what my answer would be but because I couldn't focus on posting.  During the time that I have been trying to write this post, occurrences related to family have "riled me up" so to speak.  So now as a part of my release, I am writing the post that should have been posted at least a week ago.

Background on me and my response to annoyance.  (Yes, bullet points)

1. Review and assess => Was there something that I did or said to cause those words or actions?
2. Talk it out => go through the situation with someone else (typically Jamie or Kenya)
3. Determine resolution => Ignore/Respond
4. Resolve => Take the action from number 3
5. Release => Let go 

Now, don't get it twisted, this has not always been my response.  I used to play right into the annoyance and emotions.  Through growth and a lot of life, I am now able to tap into what is my core and respond accordingly.

So the question that I have been trying to respond to is this, "If you had been able to choose, would you rather have been an only child or part of a large family?"  I know you are wondering, how does the previous tie into this question.  Well, let me see if I can construct a bridge.

I think when you are younger, you always want what appears to be better than what you have.  Living in a house with several people, at some point, your thoughts are 'I wish I had been an only child'.  I can honestly say I didn't have that thought TOO much (until I got a boyfriend :-) )  The reality is that I wasn't an only child and I can't change what my situation was.  As I look at my life, I know that some of the greatest things that I have learned about family, sisters, being a woman, being a friend, is due to having a larger family.  

There was a period of time, maybe when I was between age 20 and 27, my sisters were the closest friends I had and we hung out at least once every week.  I do miss those times greatly and think of them often; but life had to move on.  Years later, I have grown nieces and nephews, added sisters, brothers, cousins and a BOATLOAD of capture moments.  It's partly because of the family that I have that I can now respond to varying things as mentioned above.  I have learned what's important to me and I intend to keep that at the forefront of my life at all times.

Regardless of the disagreements, the distance, the lack of quality time, differing personalities, I love my family without a doubt.  The answer to the question: I would choose a large family.  While the answers may not be the same from others on either side of my family, I would still choose my family.

I sure hope you didn't think my answer would be different.  :-)