What's there to be afraid of?
My friend, Dani, encouraged me to keep blogging. In an effort to avoid cynicism, here it goes.
As I listen to people more and more, I realize how much fear controls our thoughts, mind, and actions. Fear is a powerful emotion that causes people to do strange things. To be clear, I am not speaking of physical fears (e.g. car crash, gun shots); I am talking specifically about the mental fear that we control ourselves (e.g. the fear of letting people know who we are, the fear that we are not good enough, the fear that we don't have the ability to do something). All of these fears are what I consider mental fears and are impacting us daily.
"Fear stifles our thinking and actions. It creates indecisiveness that results in stagnation. I have known talented people who procrastinate indefinitely rather than risk failure. Lost opportunities cause erosion of confidence, and the downward spiral begins." - Charles Stanley
What does that mean? It means that fear causes us to stop thinking and acting; thus decreasing our growth and self-esteem. From my experience, this "stifling of thoughts and actions" causes feelings of mistrust and a false sense of immobility (stuck in a situation).
Why does it matter? It matters because behind this fear we lose our ability to become better. We lose the ability to develop strong, lasting relationships. We lose sight of our own capabilities. This in turn destroys relationships.
What can we do? Determine what your fears are; figure out what scares you about whatever it is. Is it that you are afraid to fail? Are you afraid to hurt someone you love? Are you afraid that you will be successful? Are you afraid of being judged? Whatever it is, you need to understand why it scares you because that the real driver of your fear and many times (at least in my experience) that driver is not real or is irrelevant, so it takes the form of an excuse.
So, I know someone that is afraid of exposure (like others finding out who they are). However, if you listened to this person daily, you don't see it. Over a period of time, you start to pay attention to the questions, the hint of agitation with anything that provides more insight into who they are to anyone else. My questions, how does others knowing (or presumably knowing) more about you hurt you? Can they now take over your life and become you? Yes, there are people that will purposely try to "throw salt in your wound" but you are the controller of your destiny. While salt in a wound may sting, it doesn't kill you. Those individuals that allow the salt to deter them have succumbed to the fear. Those people that clean and dress the wound and keep going tend to rise above the fear.
As I listen to people more and more, I realize how much fear controls our thoughts, mind, and actions. Fear is a powerful emotion that causes people to do strange things. To be clear, I am not speaking of physical fears (e.g. car crash, gun shots); I am talking specifically about the mental fear that we control ourselves (e.g. the fear of letting people know who we are, the fear that we are not good enough, the fear that we don't have the ability to do something). All of these fears are what I consider mental fears and are impacting us daily.
"Fear stifles our thinking and actions. It creates indecisiveness that results in stagnation. I have known talented people who procrastinate indefinitely rather than risk failure. Lost opportunities cause erosion of confidence, and the downward spiral begins." - Charles Stanley
What does that mean? It means that fear causes us to stop thinking and acting; thus decreasing our growth and self-esteem. From my experience, this "stifling of thoughts and actions" causes feelings of mistrust and a false sense of immobility (stuck in a situation).
Why does it matter? It matters because behind this fear we lose our ability to become better. We lose the ability to develop strong, lasting relationships. We lose sight of our own capabilities. This in turn destroys relationships.
What can we do? Determine what your fears are; figure out what scares you about whatever it is. Is it that you are afraid to fail? Are you afraid to hurt someone you love? Are you afraid that you will be successful? Are you afraid of being judged? Whatever it is, you need to understand why it scares you because that the real driver of your fear and many times (at least in my experience) that driver is not real or is irrelevant, so it takes the form of an excuse.
So, I know someone that is afraid of exposure (like others finding out who they are). However, if you listened to this person daily, you don't see it. Over a period of time, you start to pay attention to the questions, the hint of agitation with anything that provides more insight into who they are to anyone else. My questions, how does others knowing (or presumably knowing) more about you hurt you? Can they now take over your life and become you? Yes, there are people that will purposely try to "throw salt in your wound" but you are the controller of your destiny. While salt in a wound may sting, it doesn't kill you. Those individuals that allow the salt to deter them have succumbed to the fear. Those people that clean and dress the wound and keep going tend to rise above the fear.
While the example is a bit cheesy, it is relevant. Everyone has fears some are very obvious while others are not so obvious. Don't let your continue to hold you back.
**Please note that there is no clinical evidence supporting any of the above. All information is based on personal experiences.**
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