For my mentee...

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In one of my earlier posts entitled "Just me ...", I stated that 'the people making sure you are around are the people that you should be making sure you are around’.  I was asked to elaborate on this point.  Simply put, this statement means that I had to stop putting energy and time into relationships with people that did not reciprocate that effort. 

A key indication that someone doesn’t want to be bothered with you is that they don’t bother with you.  They don’t call, send an email or check in with you.  They simply respond whenever you reach out to them.  If they don’t have anything else to do, they humor you. 

Nevertheless, I had it in my head that I had to maintain the relationship because I felt obligated.  Obligated by my relation to the person or the length of time that I knew them or even that they had done something for me.  I finally had to ask myself, is this worth it?  Don't get me wrong, all of these things an create or strengthen some relationships.  However, these things should not be the only things that keep them going.  In my case, NONE of the relationships that I am speaking of were worth the detriment that they brought to my life because, for me, they were unhealthy.   They impacted my self-confidence, other relationships, and my stress levels.  They failed to offer happiness or support. 

I made the choice to put my energies somewhere else.  I put those energies into the people that ALWAYS made it a point to call me, just to see how I was; the people that, regardless of who or what was happening, ALWAYS invited me.  Why did I make that choice?  I made it because those were the people that cared about me enough to maintain/strengthen the relationship.  At some point, they decided that I was worth it.

As most things in life, this is easier said than done.  Filling your surroundings with people who want to be there with you can be the most uplifting and empowering thing that you can do for yourself. 
Thoughts can be kept silent or communicated throughout the world.  What you choose to do with them is wholly your own.
 
 








  

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