Feedback: Supportive or Spiteful?
Wow! In my attempt to let go of
some entirely separate things this week, I stumbled upon a conversation about
feedback (or honesty). It’s an
interesting situation to request feedback on one thing and receive an onslaught
of unsolicited feedback about something totally separate.
It’s interesting to be provided feedback of not being self-aware and
unable to receive feedback, when no evidence is presented to support the
accusation. The most disappointing part
of the ‘feedback’ is that it came from someone to whom I’ve shared insecurities,
negative feedback, and unsolicited commentary.
To receive unsupported feedback like that from someone you trust feels
spiteful and intent on purposely hurting me.
So, for me, it feels like commentary meant to either put me in my place
or destroy my confidence. Let me take a
step the feedback came with a promise to point it out when it happens in the
future. I realize that I am not all-knowing,
but I thought the purpose of feedback was to identify a concern about a behavior
or completion of specific tasks with the goal of future improvement.
How do you come back from that?
I serve as an ear to many people both professionally and
personally and I love it. I enjoy being
the person that people feel comfortable enough to just let go of things that
they are carrying on their heart. Being
an ear and a confidant, I understand that honesty is hard to swallow especially
if given in the wrong way. Knowing this,
I try to be mindful of who I am and how I respond to anyone requesting
feedback. I like literally had three
such conversations this week. In each
one, the feedback was requested, I considered the person receiving the feedback,
stated that the feedback was my perspective then gave the best possible response
in a respectful manner. Point is, I try
to be mindful of my commentary with EVERYONE with whom I converse.
I needed to write tonight so I could release and while I
feel like I have let go of some older things.
There are new things to address. NO
need for cursing or even holding on to this one; it’s feedback to do with
whatever I choose. I just hope that as
we provide such feedback, we not only formulate supporting examples, but we
self-reflect on the feedback as well. Thanks,
back into my headspace I go!
Quote of the Day
“Everyone is a genius.
But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree. It will live its whole life believing it is
stupid.”
-Albert Einstein
Everybody wants to give feedback but not everybody should....
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