My Favorite Color

It’s weird how some things come about in life.  I was struggling with what I should write about today since I have missed the mark the last couple of days.  In mentioning it to my husband and he said, “Write about your favorite color”.  Little did he know, this was the perfect topic for me to write about today.  I wanted something less angry and less serious.

I previously mentioned that I went through a coaching program at work.  During this program, I had to consider varying aspects of my life.  In doing so, I went through an exercise that would help me calm myself (rather refocus my attentions) throughout various situations.   In one of the exercise, I had to tell my favorite color and explain why it was.  If you don’t know, my favorite color is PURPLE.  I could tell you that it is my favorite because it looks good on me; while that isn’t a lie that is not the reason.  The reason PURPLE is my favorite is because it brings me peace.

I don’t know how many times you truly watch the sunset but I have watched a few in my lifetime.  If you are truly watching the sun go down, there are times when you get to witness a point just before the sun disappears where there is this PURPLE haze all across the sky.  In that moment, it is the most peaceful time.  When I am watching this occur, thoughts of the stresses of life do not exist.  There is only that moment, the enjoyment of the relaxation and, more often than not, the time with my other half.

So now, whenever you see me, I will undoubtedly have something PURPLE on me.  It may be my favorite type of ink pen, my mouse, my folder carrying important information, the makeup case in my bag.  Why?  I do it because I am trying to keep PEACE at the forefront of my days.  

Quote of the Day
"She is at a place in her life where peace is her priority and negativity cannot exist." -Word Porn

I apologize because I led you astray…

Last week, I wrote a post stating that “I could say that I know that Jamie loves me but really all I have is a belief and a feeling.”  I want to explain this a little further because I think I may have caused some confusion.  The belief and the feeling that I have IS the love.  I know to depths in my soul very seldom touched that Jamie’s approach to our relationship, our love, and our marriage is based on the feelings that he has for me and the hopes for our future. 

The thing that I can’t tell you is if your partner/boyfriend/lover/husband feels that for you.  As I stated in the aforementioned post, no love is the same.  If you want me to tell you what’s going on in your relationship, my guess is, you already know.  No one knows your situation better than you, always remember that.

Love is not one thing alone but in it, you find endless amounts friendship, admiration, respect, tolerance, acceptance and physical chemistry.

Inferior, what?

Question of the day
Why do we insist on paying money for inferior services?  Great question, let's explore.  First, who defines superior and inferior?  How is the rating determined?  If I compare my service to previous services and its better, what will I assume?

While I agree that we should pay people/companies who serve us well and stop paying those who provide unacceptable services, I do feel that that determination should be left to the individual.  My thinking is that inferior versus superior is based on personal experience.  I don't go in the store and by a brand because EVERYONE ELSE says that it is great.  I typically go in and buy the brand that I have experienced.  Jane Smith up the street may hate it but it has always worked great for me.  Is that me choosing to pay for inferior services or me deciding to go with a brand that I know.

When getting into defining superiority and inferiority, always consider that it is your perspective and that may not be consistent with others.  Each person has their own views, I can guarantee they are not the same.

Quote of the day
"Comparisons make you feel superior or inferior, neither serve a useful purpose"  - Jane Travis

Not much

I was under the impression that if I posted every day I would run out of things to discuss, that hasn't been the case so far.  While I struggle with how I want to present my thoughts, I have yet to run out of things to talk about.  However, this post is random because I can't get myself to focus on one thing tonight.  I wish that this blog were a little more interactive, meaning I wish my readers would offer some of their thoughts on some of my topics or provide topics to discuss.  Open discussions are very helpful to me and my writings.  Hopefully, as I get more readers, increased interaction will occur.

I spent some time today trying to determine the best weekend trips.  I found a couple places to which we hadn't ventured.  I am hoping to get them on the calendar so we know when and what to expect for the upcoming year.

Today was a busy day and I didn't exercise like I planned to, so that means tomorrow will be absolutely FUN!!!

How do you know?

There is a question that routinely comes up related to relationships... how do you know if he/she really love you?  Some people expect or assume that since Jamie and I have been married for so long, I should definitely be able to answer that question.  Truth is, I can't.  I could say that I know that Jamie loves me but really all I have is a belief and a feeling.  Yes, we tell each other that we love each other and do things for each other that we probably would not do for others; is that love?  I know that he is who I want next to me when I wake up in the morning and pray that is how he feels as well.  Some would say that because he does, that's love.  But, it could be a sense of obligation.  When I hang out with Jamie, there is warmth, relaxation, laughter; everything that my heart tells me is love.  The point is I know how I feel.  Does he feel the same?  I guess I will have to ask.

On some level, you never truly know if you have a love that will last forever; all you know is what you have today.  If it makes you happy, then you work hard to keep.  Love is a tricky thing that is almost never replicated exactly.  Personally, I would be weary of someone who can give me exact details of determining if someone else loves me.

“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” ―C.S. Lewis

Be mindful

Every now and again, reality hits us when we least expect it.  The problem is we do not always learn the intended lesson.  I am definitely guilty of missing the intended messages or lessons.  So, what I decided to work on for myself is simply listening and thinking.  I will recount the happening (with notebook paper if needed).  This behavior allows me to slow down and pay more attention, which in turn helps me to provide responses that are well-thought and more measured.  The hope is that, in the end, the stress and doubt that I carry is lessened tremendously.  

Point is, pay attention to those things that are most important to you.  Eventually, the worth of it comes to the forefront.

Quote of the Day

"Don't underestimate me.  I know more that I say, think more than I speak, & notice more than you realize."

Have to post twice today

Since I missed a post yesterday, I will have to post twice today.  I will share why I missed posting yesterday, it was because I was sleeping for the better part of the day.  I didn't go to sleep at all Saturday, which meant that Sunday was a lot of down time.  Yay me!!!  I am off work today so it shouldn't be a problem.

Anyway, I am trying to post everyday as a part of our Health Habits program at work.  I need to journal (post) everyday to allow my mind to settle/relax prior to going to bed.  So, I figured I like to write why not give it go using my blogspot.

Happy Monday readers!!!

How old am I?

I woke up to very sweet texts from my sisters; I truly love those women.

A really good friend was in Memphis and came by to hang out with me.  Now, she made me get up and out of the house too damn early, but I love her anyway.  She and I have been friends for close to 20 years. Our friendship had its tests but is still strong.  It is always great reconnecting and catching up.  Sometimes, playing around in target then giggling like silly school girls provides a calm resolve you didn't realize you needed.

"Choose your friends wisely; they will make or break you."   -J. Willard Marriott

Yes, I am trying this again!

I changed the layout and theme of my blog quite a bit.  I changed it, partly, because I needed a change but there were many inaccessible attributes to my readers.  I wanted to create a site that was virtually appealing and user-friendly.  Let me know if I missed the mark.

I committed to journaling before bed every day.  The first time I tried this, I was unsuccessful.  However, there are no quitters here, so I refuse to stop trying.  I want to journal here every day.  So, what stopped me from writing every day?  I believe it was thinking every post required some deep, enlightening thought.  The intent of this website was to journal.  Here we go!

Today was a vacation day for me.  As always, I still found a way to work.  I did a video call with my baby sister and youngest niece, received a visit from my oldest sister and nephew out of the blue, then hung out with my husband for a little while on the patio.  At some point, we found ourselves discussing a topic on which we were not in agreement.  While that part was less exciting, we do not typically hold on too long to disagreements.  Overall, today was a great day and I truly hope yours was too!

Quote/Thought of the Day
"Give the gift of absence to those who do not appreciate your presence."      

Should we really be calling someone else a racist?

Over the past few months, I have spent countless hours listening to others talk about how much they hate another race or how stupid another race is.  I don’t know about anyone else but, for me, listening to these conversations is extremely draining.  I know I may be crossing some imaginary boundaries but I need you to understand why these conversations are tiring for me.

• It takes a great deal of energy to hate someone as fiercely as the people do in the conversations that I have heard.  Seriously, try going through your day mad and frustrated ALL day.  I guarantee you, you will be tired and drained and just want to fall out.

• Every person that I have seen in these instances is depending on something from another race (even the one they despise) in some way shape or form.  My point?  I can hate going to the doctor’s office all day long but at the end of the day, if something is wrong with my system, I have to go to the doctor’s office.  Do I go into the doctor’s office cursing, complaining and disrespecting him when I need something from him?

• There seems to be a huge disconnect on what a racist is.  Based on the definition that I know and understand, racism is “prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior.”  (See the Google definition for more detail.)  So, to me, that doesn’t mean that only the race with the majority of people can be defined as a racist or that because a certain people has been heavily oppressed their responses/actions cannot be defined as racists.  The definition, to me, clearly states that ANYONE engaged in prejudices against a DIFFERENT race can be classified as a racist.  There are some that will come back and say, well no, this race is inferior so they can’t be racists.  I call bullhockey.  First, who designates inferiority?  Second, the definition says that it is based on the belief that one’s OWN race is superior. 

Now, don’t get it twisted, I am very proud of who I am and what I represent.  I just wonder where we would be if we took all the energy put into hating and blaming someone else and put it into something that benefits either our personal growth or the growth of our own community.

My worth, my confidence, and my desire are all controlled my me.  I work hard every day to better the person that I am for myself and for my family.  My only ask of the few readers I have is to consider what’s important to you and let that be your driving force… everything else is a waste of time and energy.

I was lost...

Wow!!! I hadn’t posted since November.  Nevertheless, all it takes is a pretty good discussion to get my writing underway. 

So, the other day Jamie and I were sitting at the table and heard a strange noise.  Jamie went to look and found nothing.  We assumed it must have been something outside.  Later that evening, I went into the closet to change my clothes and found that the door wouldn’t open all the way.  Peeping my head through the opening, I realized that one of my shelves (holding several clothing item and shoes had collapsed…. Yes, this indeed was the noise we heard earlier.  After calling Jamie in to see what happened, he said, “Our house seems to be falling apart”.  I said, “Maybe it was time for a change, we’ve talked about changing the space for a while”.  After retrieving everything from the floor, assessing the remains, and prioritizing my needs, the closet is again usable. 

Today my brother told me that I didn’t have to wait on others to take action that I deemed necessary or important to me and he was right.  While I felt unable to clearly articulate myself, this stuck with me because it highlighted recent personal reflection.  Part of the discussion was around being about it rather than talking about it and there was not a consensus on the matter.  Now, just to clarify, repetition with no action is a frustration inherent to me.  It is not now, nor will it ever be, my place to instruct others on what should be important to them or what they should be doing.  I control my thoughts, behaviors and actions only and I decide when, what, how, where, why and with whom I engage.  This is my focus moving forward.

If you don’t see how this relates to my story, let me explain.  Jamie and I have lived in this house for several years, changing the closet was one of the first things that we noted that we wanted to change.  Yet, all we did was talk about it.  Now with no other option, we had to deal with the closet.  The result, a space that is open, clear and more manageable.  Hmmm, had we only did something when we first discussed it?  Time and effort are very precious items, wasting either can be detrimental.