Questions on a Peaceful Day

I just really enjoy being on the water; I always have.  It’s a peaceful place that encourages clear thinking, which I need so very often.  So, as I sit hear contemplating, these are some questions that I have that I am hoping you can help me with.

Thought:  As girls grow up, they are often confronted with several situations/comments that insinuate that what they are is not good or pretty enough. 

Examples

You would be really pretty if …You don’t have that type of …It would look better if you’d wear this …All girls should…Boys really like it when…

Yet, as girls become young ladies then women, we don’t understand why there are extreme levels self-esteem issues.  We don’t know why people can’t be confident in who they are.  Does this make sense to you?  If so, please explain

Thought:  As a black person, I often hear things like ‘you should be proud to be black’ or ‘we are not like everyone else’; yet, we don’t consider ourselves worthy or to have ‘made it’ until we can do or seemingly be like people of other cultures.  Rather than celebrating the uniqueness of who we are and how we came to be, we spend our lives trying to gain acceptance and approval from EVERYBODY else.  How will we ever gain acceptance or approval when we don’t give to ourselves?  You must have it within yourself before you can truly give or receive it, right?

Thought:  It is a common thing these days for men and women to complain about what the other sex is not doing and/or comparing them to false images created in their minds.  While I am definitely NOT a relationship expert or have any of the answers, I do know what makes me feel good in any relationship.  From my perspective, nobody wants to be degraded, dismissed or devalued because the other person lacks caring or understanding.  We often fail to provide others with the same consideration that we seek. 

Be careful who, what, when, where, why, and how you say things.  If you don’t truly understand the next person’s situation, chances are they don’t understand yours.  Try to articulate your thoughts in a mutually respectful manner.  Is mutual respect or interest in other’s feelings truly a hard thing to give?

Thought:  My husband and I have a few stores that we like to go to.  I noticed a long time ago that when each of us drive, we take a different route.  When I initially noticed, I was like, why do you go this way?  His response was simply that he liked the route.  As I considered who we each are, I was reminded that my husband is an introspective and reserved individualist.  While he is not anti-social, he does prefer to be alone or with me.  He would take a route that has fewer people.  To my point...why do we always focus on the approach?  If we both get to the same place, how important is the approach or route?  

I know, I know, I am done with my questions.  I will go back to this quiet time and enjoy the peacefulness of the water. 

Quote of the Day

If I had it to do again, I’d ask more questions and interrupt fewer answers.”

-Robert Brault